Myth:

  • Aspies have no “higher feelings”; they can’t feel love, be tender or be empathetic to others
  • Autistic people are asexual (derive no pleasure from sex).
  • most Aspies are gay
  • Aspies will never have a sexual and/or romantic relationship
  • Aspies will never have a long time relationship
  • Aspies are sex maniacs

Answers to those claims

  • Aspies do have feelings such as love, hate and everything in between. the difference between aspies and non-aspies is that aspies may show their feelings in different ways and get overwhelmed by the intensity of those feelings to the point of shutting down.
  • Although many Aspies are asexual (maybe even more than in the average population), it doesn’t mean that most are.
    In the “sexuality and Gender Role in Autism Spectrum, Disorder: a case control study”, made by Susanne Bejerot and Jonna M. Eriksson,  participated 103 swedish adults;  out of which, 50 were diagnosed with ASD prior to the study (26 men and 24 women), and 53 were neurotypical controls. Out of the 50 adults with ASD only 2 reported to be asexual!
  • It is believed that there is a slightly higher percentage of gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgender autistics than in the average population. Since in the gay community there is less emphasis on conformity, Bisexual or homosexual Aspies may find more potential for sex and/or relationships. Autistic women may be more successful in relationships than men due to differences in social requirements ( a man is often expected to initiate).

  •  Living in a society that puts emphasys on long term relationships and marriage may scare Aspies, who find even initiating a simple conversation difficult, into avoiding dating, but even though, social interaction doesn’t come easily for Aspies and many do have difficulties in forming relationships, quite many of them out there do have sex, fall in love and have relationships, even if later in life (the swedish study shows that Aspies start their sexual ventures a bit later than neurotypicals: Aspies around ages 18-22 rather than 17-18 in neurotypicals.

  • Yes, many Aspies don’t keep long term relationships, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean that nonw of them do. I, myself, am an Aspie and I have been in 3 long term relationship throughout my life, one of which was a 20 year marriage! i have also known quite a few other Aspies, who were/are married and keep relationships for years.
  • Aspies are not “sex maniacs”!  Some Aspies refrain from sex by choice (due to being asexual, intimidated by the thought of initiating contact, or simply finding other things more important), others may have high libido and  have a lot of sex. some may have “normal” sexual attractions while others are more “kinky”. there is no more one pattern to Aspie sexuality than to neurotypical sexuality. We are all different people!
    That being said, Aspies tend to become obsessive with their interests, so if one would have sex as an interest and becomes obsessive about it, it may translate to the rest of the world as that individual being a “sex maniac”

Resources